初めての彼女を作るための12のポイント

菊池
こんにちは、菊池です。

今回は数少ない女性友達である神楽さんに、男性が初めて彼女を作るときに押さえておきたいポイントについて書いていただきました!

神楽
こんにちは、神楽です。よろしくお願いします!

あなたは、彼女いない歴=年齢の人ですか?

もしくは、女の子とどう話していいかわからない男友達はいませんか?

今回の記事読むにあたって、あなたに、まず知っておいてほしいことがひとつあります。

世の中のすべての女性は、あなたに振り向いたり、あなたに魅力を感じたり、あなたと交際したりする義務はありません。

誰かれ構わず無理やり女性と恋愛関係を手に入れるようなことは絶対にしないようにしましょう。

そのかわり、自分を磨き、最高の自分になれるよう努力してください。

そうすればきっと誰かが、あなたの魅力に気づいてくれるはずです。

恋愛関係は、そういうところから始まると思います。

それを決して忘れないようにしてください。

そうすればずっと簡単にずっと良い恋愛関係を手に入れることができますよ。

23年間彼女がいなかった、菊池はどのように脱非モテに成功したのか

2019.01.14

 

より魅力的な男子になる

あなたが自分を女性にアピールしたい場合、人としての価値を高めるのが一番効果があります。

一緒にいて、いい人だなあ、と思ってもらえるような自分を目指しましょう。

ここでご紹介するのは、そのためのコツです。

 

自分の魅力を磨く

誰かに好きになってもらうには、何よりもまず、自分で自分を好きになる必要があります。

つまりは、ありのままの自分に自信を持つということ。

自分らしくないクールさを求めたりしてはいけません。

リラックスして、いつもの自分でいること。彼女が欲しいからって、あまりにも必死になりすぎると、がっついていると思われてしまいます。

それとは逆に、自分を信じる心と、自分に満ち足りた気分でいましょう。

自分の行動には責任を持ち、ちょっとのことでは感情を乱されないような姿を見せれる様努力しましょう。

そのためにも、自己改善も大切です。

太っている人は体を引き締めたり、痩せている人は体を鍛えたりすることで、あなたの魅力は高まり、自分に対する不安が減ります。

23年間彼女がいなかった、菊池はどのように脱非モテに成功したのか

2019.01.14

 

世界についておもしろいことをどんどん知る

楽しい趣味を増やせば、話題にも困らなくなります。

女性が、「この人と話すの楽しいなあ」と思えるようなそんな面白い男性を目指しましょう。

 

人には優しく。人助けを自分ルールする

助ける相手は片思いをしているあの子でもいいですし、教室の他の誰かでもOKです。

その人は、重いものや持ちにくいものを運んでいたりしていませんか?

「それ手伝うよ」って、声をかけてあげるのも良いです。

もちろん、「大丈夫!」って断られたら、押し売りはNGです。

落ち着いた笑顔で、その言葉を受け入れれば良いんです。

親切かつ思慮深くいきましょう。

誰か小銭が足りない人はいないだろうか。

昼食のお金が少し足りないという人に、ちょっとお金を貸してあげてもいいかも。

相手が女性男性にかかわらず、自分の後ろの人のために、ドアを抑えてあげることも大切です。

女性は優しい男性に惹かれる傾向がありますし、自分が良い人間であることは、自分自身をより好きになるきっかけにもなります。

この場合は、自分が片思いしている相手ばかりに優しくしないようにしましょう。

好きな女性に優しくするのはカンタンですが、その行為は偽善だと思われてしまいがちです。

誰に対しても優しい人間になることが大切です。

彼女もそのことに気づいてくれるし、彼女の友達も気づいてくれるでしょう。

あなたのことが話題にのぼったとき、誰かが、「彼ってすっごく優しいよね」と話し始めたら、あなたのお目当ての彼女は、言われてみればそうかも…なんて考え始めるかもしれませんよ。

 

身だしなみをきちんと

誰かと仲良くなりたければ、最高のあなたを演出することが不可欠ですよね。

その女性が片思いの相手だったら、なおさら気合が入りますよね!

外見はきちんとすること。

その女性があなたの何に魅力を感じるか、ということはその女性次第ですが、体から変なニオイがしたり、口が臭かったり、髪の毛が手入れされていなくて脂ぎったりしていたら、大体の女性に嫌われてしまいます。

シャワーは毎日欠かさないこと。

歯も一日に二回は磨きます。

それから、体型の維持も大切です。

仮に、素のあなたがどれほどのイケメンだったとしても、世の中には必ずそれ以上の男性がいます。

ですから、常に最高の第一印象を心がける必要があります。

あなたに似合う服を着るように。

洗濯された清潔な服で、シワのないものがベストチョイスです。

体型に合った服を着るのも大切なポイントです。

映画スター並みに、バッチリ決める必要はありませんが、あなたの魅力を引き出す、似合う服を着ることがとにかく大切です。

あなたの外見を磨くことは、あなたの魅力を高めるのみならず、自分に対する自信も深めてくれます。

自信がある男性は、ずっと魅力的です。

それに、自分自身のよい面を見つけることで、自分のセールスポイントだってわかるようになります。

23年間彼女がいなかった、菊池はどのように脱非モテに成功したのか

2019.01.14

 

出会いのネットワークを広げる

人間は社交的な生き物です。

それは、友達という集団から始まり、やがてその友達の友達も輪に加わって、仲間が増えていきます。

たとえ相手が男性でも、仲の良い人を増やせば増やすほど、女性と出会える確率も、どんどんアップします。

仲良くなる相手は、選り好みしないこと。拒絶も賢い選択ではありません。

ほら、曲がり角に住んでいる近所のおじいちゃん。

あのおじいちゃんにだって、もしかしたら、あなたと同い年のすごく美人なお孫さんがいるかもしれませんよね。

昨日のパーティーにいたあのウザい女性だって、その友達が、あなたの理想の女性だった、なんてことはありうるわけです。

それから、新しい趣味を始めたのであれば、外へ出て、どんどん楽しんでください。

共通の興味を持った仲間がどんどん増えていきますよ。

あなたが楽しいと思うものを選んでみましょう。

ネットで検索してみたり、facebookグループに参加して、地元で行われるイベントやオフ会なんかに参加すれば、共通の趣味を持った人と、もっと知り合うこともできますよ。

趣味も彼女も同時にゲットできちゃうかもしれません。

でも、インターネットばかりに頼りすぎないように。

学校や会社の同僚に、趣味を聞いてみるのもいいかもしれませんね。

ハイキングへ行く人がいたら、一緒についていったり、普段映画を見なくても、一緒に映画を見に行ったりするのも、新たな発見があるので、おすすめですよ。

23年間彼女がいなかった、菊池はどのように脱非モテに成功したのか

2019.01.14

【男性必見】恋愛初心者に贈る女性との出会い方マニュアル

2019.02.26

 

女性との接し方編

あなたが、今までよりもずっと面白く、魅力的な男子になって、何人かの女性と知り合うことができた、としましょう。

そろそろ、女の子と会話しようという段階ですよね。

会話のポイントは

女性から好かれる会話のポイント
  1. 誠実
  2. 楽しく
  3. あなたの魅力をアピールできる

ような内容で話をすること。

もうすでに、自信をつけたあなたには、簡単なはずです。

女性に自分をアピールするために必要なのは、まず、女性をきちんと理解し、女性をひとりの人間として認識することです。

良い面もあれば、悪い面もあります。

その女性のことを好きか否かに関わらず、数多くの女性と話してみましょう。

女性相手の会話をもたせる練習をしてみたり、彼女たちの感情や趣味に共感したり。これだけでも、あなたの人間としての幅が広がります。

 

アプローチのしかたを練習する

常に女性と話をするようにしましょう。

例えば、職場に魅力的な女性がいたら話しかけてみましょう!

でも、挙動不審にはならないように注意しましょう。

いきなり口説こうとするのもアウトです。

言葉を交わし、興味があることをさりげなく聞いたりして、彼女の話を聞きます。

こうして、女の子と話をするのに慣れてくると、女の子同士で、

神楽
「面白い、なんか素敵な人」

とあなたを噂するようになっていきます。

女の子との会話は、できるだけ頻繁に。

間が空きすぎてしまうと、あなたの評判も忘れ去られてしまいますからね。

 

トーク好きになる

あらかじめ話す内容を決めてかからないようにしましょう。

とくに、おすすめのナンパテクニック、みたいなものは使ってはいけません。

こういった手段は、女性を軽く見た方法で、効果があるどころか、女子全員に嫌われるだけ。

という結果を招きかねません。

あくまで最初は自然な感じで話しましょう!

人はロボットではありません。

人と人とのつながりをつくるには、ハートで話をすることが大切です。

その瞬間を大事にしましょう。

あなたが何を言ったか、どのように言ったか、ということに比べたら些細なものです。

誠実さを心がけて会話に臨みましょう。

会話がどう進むか不安なときには、もう「やあ」といったたぐいの挨拶から始めて、あとは、流れに任せちゃいましょう。

同時に、緊張したりがっついて会話することは避けるように。

好感が持てるような面白い内容を心がけ、相手を楽しませましょう。

あなたも相手の女の子に、自分のことを知ってもらいたいはずですし、何より、もっとたくさんの時間を一緒に過ごしたいですよね!

 

褒め上手になる

誰しも褒められると嬉しいものです。

もちろん褒めるときは心から褒めるようにしましょうね。

誠実さは、一晩では手に入りません。

出会う女の子全員に対し、褒めるべきところを見つける訓練をします。

相手がタイプじゃなかったとしても、しっかりと見つけるようにしましょう。

体や外見を褒める必要はありません。

むしろ、あまりそういうことは褒めないほうが良いです。

しぐさだったり、その子の性格だったり、才能だったり、持っているスキルだったり。

そういったものを褒めるようにします。

その人に出会えた喜びをしっかりと表現すれば、あなた自身をずっと魅力的で、話しやすい人と考えてもらえるようになりますよ。

 

フラれることを恐れない

失敗は誰にでもあります。

人生とはそういうものです。

あなたが出会う魅力的な女性の大半は、結局の所、あなたに興味はありません。

こればかりはあなたにはどうしようもないことです。気にしても無駄というものです。

でも、好みの女の子を見つけたら、絶対に話しかけましょう。

すぐにでもデートに誘いたいと思ったのであれば、すぐに伝えてしまいます。

菊池
「あなたのこと、すごく素敵だなと思っているんだけど、いきなりデートに誘ってもいいかな?」

と聞いてしまえばいいんです。

女性に断られたら、笑顔でうなずき、歩き去りましょう。

絶対に怒ったりはしないことです。

フラれるのは、防ぎようがありません。

言い訳をつくって、何もしないのは避けましょう。

人とかかわらないための理由を作ったりするのもよくありません。

たとえば、好みの女の子をみつけても、

「どうせ彼氏がいるに決まってる」

「俺とは不釣り合い」

なんてことばかり、うじうじ考えてもしょうがないです。

行動あるのみです。

最悪何が起こるって、彼女があなたの申し出を断って、歩き去るだけのこと。

さっきも言いましたが、これは防ぎようのないこと。

もう一度チャレンジして、アプローチの仕方を磨きましょう。

それから、女性が男性からのアプローチを受け付けたくない時に取る仕草があります。

こういったものは、よく知っておきましょう。

たとえば、ジョギング中の彼女がヘッドホンをしていたり、バスで読書をしている女性が足を組んで自分の世界にこもっているようだと感じたら、邪魔をしてはいけません。

それから、あなたが話しかけている女性が、ウエイトレスや店員の場合は、彼女たちが、あなたと会話を続けているのは、それが仕事の一部だから、というだけ。

あなたからデートに誘われるのを待っているわけじゃありませんよ。

女性は、パーソナルスペースを侵害する人と付き合いたいとは思いません。

せいぜい笑顔を向けるだけにとどめましょう。

女性が望む時に、彼女の方からあなたにアプローチをかけてくるのを待つんです。

 

良いお友達にならない

女友達との関係は常に、その先があるかも?と予感させるようなものを心がけましょう。

これは別に、友達の女の子全員とそういう関係になろうとする、という意味ではありません。

でも、そういう状態を保つことで、彼女たちは常に、あなたが恋愛対象になりうることを意識するはずですし、あなたが恋人募集中ということもわかってくれるはずです。

その女性があなたに興味を持っていなかったとしても、知り合いを紹介してくれるかもしれません。

また、男女の関係がずっとプラトニックな友人関係であり続けるのは、100%問題ないこと。

男としての自信も磨かれますし、その人から、あなたが考えもしなかったような新しいものの考え方を教えてもらえるかもしれません。

 

楽しい人になる

女性と話をするときは、楽しませるように意識しましょう。

ユーモアなセンスがある人は、誰からも好かれるものです。

ユーモアのセンスを手に入れるには、なんでも軽く受け流す度量と、恥ずかしがらない心の強さを身につける必要があります。

悪意をもって他人を貶すような冗談はいけません。

また、仲良くなろうとしている女の子に対して、失礼なことも言ってはいけません。

あなたのユーモアは毒舌タイプ、それとも体を張るタイプですか

色々なタイプから、彼女が好きそうな冗談を選択できるようにしましょう。

それから、やりすぎは禁物です。

嘘っぽくなってしまうからです。

また相手の女の子が笑わなくても、心配はしないように。

ウザいことさえしなければ、失敗そのものに問題はありません。

それは仕方のないことです。

最終的に、彼女があなたを面白い人だと思うことよりも、彼女を傷つけたりしないことのほうがずっと大切です。

そもそも、彼女があなたと一緒にいて笑うことができないのであれば、あなたが一緒に時間を過ごしたい女性は、その人じゃないってことかもしれないんですからね。

人生は何が起こるかわかりません。

彼女の友達や、まだ出会っていない誰かが、あなたを面白い人だと思って近づいてきてくれるかもしれません。

 

一緒にいることを素直に楽しむ

女の子と話をするときは、リラックスして楽しむことが何よりも一番大事なことです。

肩に力が入っていたり、彼女を作ることばかり考えていると、それが原因で失敗してしまいます。

でも、その場を楽しんで、もしかしたらやがてフラれるかもしれないと意識しなければ、最高の相手に出会えるはずです。

絶対に忘れてはいけないことは、あなたは、あなた自身でしかないということ。

短い間なら、別の自分でいられるかもしれませんが、長い間はいられません。

ですから、自分に素直に。あなたの率直な姿を女の子が好きになってくれなくても、無理強いしてはいけません。

彼女が笑ったからといって、あなたも合わせて笑う必要はありません。

自分に嘘をつく必要はまったくないんです。

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